Tuesday, August 28, 2012

stress...

This week has been stressful.  And by stressful.  I mean *stressful.*  I bet there are a lot of people out there who can relate.  Working long hours, a house filled with boxes and dirty dishes, a wedding to plan, and a house that needs to be moved into (when all the kinks work out!).  Okay maybe you can't relate to all of that, but....  I'm sure you have stressful periods in your life as well. 

It's difficult to have a positive attitude and smile--instead of crying--when there seems to so much to do and decide and so little emotional energy to handle all of it.  I need my sleep and personal space.  Unfortunately between working overtime and a cramped one bedroom apartment filled with boxes, it hasn't exactly been possible. 

My dear husband has been on the receiving end of most of this.  Sorry Jon!  Today I got up early after working last night to sign a form for the house.  We did a few errands and ended up shopping at Target.  Actually we were browsing the decor section until Jon found some clearance garden equipment that was calling his name loudly across the aisles.  This was about two minutes after I had reached my limit (of what I'm not sure...possibly just being awake?).  I ended up crying while trying to pick out the best garden hose nozzle.  Jon had even picked up a beautiful green garden hose to make it better.  After I agreed to some hose nozzle, we left.  Jon was a great sport and tried to make me laugh by telling scandalous (this is a Nisly word, but it did apply) jokes all the way out.  He did manage to make me crack a smile, even though in my grumpiness I really didn't want to.  That is one of the reasons why I married him! He can make me laugh, even when I am cranky or sad. 

We came home and went straight to bed.  I think we slept for two hours or more.  I slept closer to three.  We briefly talked about going to Dave & Busters, but after waking up around 8:30pm, decided against it. 

I ended up catching up on my TV shows, surfing facebook, and Pinterest.  Jon played his video game online.  After awhile he went to bed and I turned on a sappy movie, "Confessions of an American Bride."  I could relate all to well to the stress of wedding, moving in, and working full time.  It was interesting to see how the stress between the bride and groom mounted as the wedding date got closer.  The love was eclipsed by the need to take care of all the details.  They almost forgot why they were getting married in the first place. It took an "ah-ha!" moment for them to wake up to how they were creating tension and conflict instead of building the love that brought them together.

I think my biggest take home message was that it is normal to feel stress in my situation.  It is easy to lose sight of the bigger picture.  Sometimes one needs to take a moment to relax and look at the bigger picture instead of the details.  The bigger picture is--I do love my husband and I am committed to coming to a place of an agreement.  My life does not need to center around what exact shade the living room should be or the size of the round tables at the ceremony are. 

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