missing...

Right now I really missing my husband.  It doesn't help that he is a "home" with my family and I am in Colorado, by myself!  I have been picking up some overtime and will be doing almost an extra day every week for the next month.  It's a feeble attempt to help distract myself from missing him so much, as well as to help pay the bills--of course. 

I have been learning a lot.  Over the past week end my husband, Verda, and Nathan were at our small apt in Colorado.  We all went to a Graham Cooke conference along with two new friends (new for me anyway):  John Allan and Michelle.  Michelle slept on our leaky air mattress with Verda and Nathan slept on the carpeted floor with a sleeping bag to cushion it.  John Allan stayed at a hotel with a new Christian friend of his. 

Graham Cooke made a big deal about blessing the people around us.  I am trying to find how I can bless the people I work with.  Over the week end I learned that speaking negatively about people or situations can have extreme consequences.  I decided I would learn to bless both by praying, actions, and curbing my negative conversations.  It's a little hard, when I have made a habit of discussing openly--at work--about some of my co-workers who appear to have no work ethic.  So how do I learn to bless the people that God has put in my life to "chisel" me into something beautiful??? 

One of the other things that made a big impression was a story Graham Cooke told about a dream he had.  He saw Jesus walking towards him on the beach.  Jesus was walking very purposefully towards him.  When Jesus got there, He said, "Graham give me back my stuff!"  Graham said, "I don't know what you're talking about?"  "Graham!  I want you to give it back!  Give it back!"  Again, Graham says, "Jesus, I don't know what you're talking about."  Jesus continues, "Graham give me back my stuff!"  "I don't know what you mean!"  Finally Jesus said, "I want you to give Me back the anxiety, worry, and fear that you are holding onto!  I died for those. Now give them back, seriously!" 

Can you talk about a shock??  Jesus died so that I wouldn't have fear and anxiety or worry..??? I thought He just died for our sins.... Oh wait... those are sins!!!  Anybody else with me??  He also said that we choose to be anxious or stressed.  I'm slowly learning what it means to be at rest...*all* the time.  Slowly learning what it means to have God's perspective.  God's perspective always involves hope and peace.  Even though, as my mom says, He is giving us a compass--not a road map,  His plan *always* involves peace.  No matter what others are saying or doing around us!!  (Who knew??)  If they are a positive influence, they help draw us closer to God, if they cause negative or frustrating feelings--they are being used by God to chisel us into His image!